04: The long-distance open (Pt. 1)

[1-minute read]

He was 24. I was 27. It was early 2014.

When we met, his timeline already extended beyond me — a car pointed east, Europe on the horizon.

His plan was to drive his manual back to Markham, park it at his dad’s, spend the fall with his grandparents in Finland, and then backpack through Europe.

He shared this after a night of bowling at Grandview Lanes on Commercial Drive, in East Vancouver.

We’d been seeing each other casually long enough for me to notice my feelings starting to shift beyond what we’d originally agreed we were open to.

After a fun round of ten-pin, I told him as much. This felt like the moment I’d curtsey my way out, with affection.

Grateful for what had been and honest about what I needed next.

Instead, he told me he was enjoying the relationship and didn’t want to see me go.

And-but-also… before we met, he’d already planned a long-overdue gap year he hoped to begin at the end of summer.

This is also when I learned about the long-term on-again, off-again romance he still had with the first love of his life. They, too, had a surprise pregnancy just before he’d come out west. And that, although she was in a new relationship, he had plans to see her before he headed off to Europe.

I thought it was a good idea. Everyone needs a season abroad. I’d had mine at 21. So we decided to continue dating, at least for now. Then reassess or press pause.

Coincidentally, before we met, I’d also been planning a trip of my own the following spring… accepting an invitation to New Zealand from the Kiwi I mentioned before. Everyone needs closure.

In the same conversation, he floated the idea that I might meet up with him somewhere along the way in Europe.

I suggested that we see how the next few months of dating went first.

Up next >> Chapter 05: The long-distance open… (Pt. 2)